What is in a day?

Again, disappointment has hit my heart.  It is my fault though.  I let it happen.  I am still trying to get my home drainage issue taken care of.  I thought I had a solution but it seems that my solution is just a dream.  I do however have another solution.  Not the prettiest but it will work.  I have faith.  It is sad that for someone who I am trying to give money to, does not seem to want it.  That is life though. 

As my summer nears its end, I know that the tears I cry are from loneliness.  My friend is having a birthday celebration thing Friday.  I am supposed to have a date but you know, I think it was all a farce.  I don’t think my date was a serious one.  Even though I’d love to go and spend time celebrating a birthday,  I can’t.  I just can’t.  I need love not sushi. 

THE GOOD AND BAD OF TODAY:  I have tried to build a bridge back to someone I think I hurt.  Earlier today, I thought I had made some major progress.  It seemed as though I was totally forgiven for the things I did earlier when I was totally hungry and didn’t realize that I had not eaten.  It affected me but I was never going to admit that to my friend because I’d never be believed. 

In the end,  I realized this evening that I was a total failure and that I didn’t build a bridge.

Instead, I burned the bridge down as if it was a match in a dry Texas field.  It burst and went up into flames.  All and all, it seems that no matter what I do, I cannot do anything right according to this person.  This has to stop and I’ve stopped on my end. 

I trust this person 200% but it is very obvious to me that I am not a good person in their eyes. I will never call or text this person again.  100% of all communication has now been cut off.  It might be the extreme but it is really best for all involved.  I am brought to tears to think of how much I have failed on this end.  I don’t know how I ever will recover.  The one thing I wish is that school would start tomorrow.  It would totally get my mind off of this whole entire  horrible situation.  I still have another month unfortunately.  I will just need to keep busy busy busy.  With time, all will work out in my mind and all will be good.  It will.  I know it will.